TO KISS OR KILL HIM

red2RED 2 (2013)
3 out of 5 stars

No one ever really retires, do they?

The group of Retired and Extremely Dangerous retirees are back this time to locate a nuclear weapon and prevent it from going off. It’s amazing how people of a certain age can still handle firearms with so much composure.

One of the best things is watching deal with able-bodied young men as if they were imbeciles. The next best thing is LEE BYUNG-HUN! He’s the youngest among them so he has the most action scenes. Eye candy!

Marvin: If there’s one thing I know, it’s women and covert operations.
Frank: Marvin, that’s two things.
Han Cho Bai: No, grasshopper. It is not.

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DON’T MESS WITH THE JOES

GIJoeR2G.I. JOE: RETALIATION (2013)
3 out of 5 stars

The Joes are back and they are after Cobra for killing their brothers and framing them for the theft of nuclear warheads. Roadblock (Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson), Lady Jaye (Adrienne Palicki) and Flint (D.J. Cotrona) are the only survivors and they seek help from former G.I. Joe, Joseph Colton (Bruce Willis).

OMG! Lee Byung Hun! Wow, look at his ripped body and katana skills! I feel so much Asian pride when I see him. To be in Hollywood at 42 years old! Can’t wait to see him in Red 2 this summer! Speaking of age, Bruce Willis is 58 and he still can kick ass. His house beats the house of Mr. and Mrs. Smith’s. The movie packs a lot of action and I love those scenes with Storm Shadow. Walton Goggins makes an appearance here but he still doesn’t have a happy ending. Oops.

CLOSING THE LOOP

LOOPER (2012)
4 and a half out of 5 stars

Caught this amazing movie a while back and it still blows my mind.

Who would imagine that telekinesis would be possible in the future and that it was  so crass that only losers use it to pick girls up? Not to mention, time travelling.

JGL plays Joe, a looper, who is paid to kill guys that are sent back from the future. It’s a job that pays well and it’s all good until you realize that you have “closed your loop” – meaning you shot your older self. Then, you have 30 years to enjoy before your “untimely” death.

What happens when you don’t close your loop? Horrible things, as we have seen with Paul Dano’s Seth at the beginning of the movie. I hope he was sedated and not passed out from shock. The story gets interesting when Joe’s older self escapes being killed and Older Joe starts hunting for the now-young Rainmaker, the man behind organized crime in the future.

Watch it because it’s one of the most original ideas seen in movies in recent years and be amazed by JGL as well as his prosthetic nose bridge (so he looks like Bruce Willis).

SIX BOOKS, A CAT AND A RECORD PLAYER

MOONRISE KINGDOM (2012)
4 and a half out of 5 stars

It’s been a long time since I laughed and cried in the same movie and Moonrise Kingdom has got to be one of my favourite movies this year.

Jared Gilman and Kara Hayward play Sam Shakusky and Suzy Bishop, two pen pals who made a secret pact to elope in the summer of 1965 on the island of New Penzance. They plan to reach a secluded cove and camp there. The elopement of the young lovers send the scouts camp and the girl’s parents into a frenzy as they try to find them before a hurricane makes its way towards the island.

Sam: I love you, but you have no idea what you’re talking about.
Suzy: I love you too.

I like that scene when the young couple find their secret cove and start to make declarations of love to each other and dance to fancy chanson on the record player. Gilman dances wildly while Hayward tries to be as sophisticated as young girls wanted to be at that age. The cat in the basket deserves some sort of prize for being cute throughout the movie.

Jared Gilman is such a precious human being! He’s really sweet and he really tries his best to fight for his and Suzy’s happiness even though his size really puts him at an disadvantage. The ending was really sweet even though I was afraid the climax at the church might end differently.

I liked the start and the end of the film where they played classical music from Benjamin Britten, where each instrument in the track was introduced by a child. Very lovely!

Sam: Why do you consider me your enemy?
Redford: Because your girlfriend stabbed me in the back with lefty scissors.
Sam: She’s my wife now.

I’M GETTING THE PIG!

RED (2010)
3 and a half out of 5 stars

RED stands for Retired and Extremely Dangerous. Based on a comic book series, it begins when former CIA agent, Frank Moses, is attacked in his own home. He brings along his love interest, Sarah, and gathers his buddies (Joe, Marvin and Victoria) – all retirees with lots of class and automatic weapons.

It’s like even though they look like normal retirees on the outside: hanging out at the retirement home, arranging flowers but it seems they always keep themselves armed. It’s a very funny movie, especially those parts where John Malkovich appears. He’s over-sensitive to technology, buzzing overhead helicopters or strange women who might be following them but he’s got the best weapon in the movie: the pig! Plus, Helen Mirren is really good with the guns! Non-stop firing! And Mrs. Kim (Emily Kuroda) from Gilmore Girls has a bit role in it!