LOADS OF BAT PUNS

LEGOMOVIETHE LEGO MOVIE (2014)
4 out of 5 stars

WATCH IT BECAUSE…
1) EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!
2) There are hilarious punchlines coming out the mouths of these Lego figurines!
3) Who knew Liam Neeson can be both good cop and bad cop?
4) The one-sided friendship between Superman and Green Lantern.

Vitruvius: All of this is true because it rhymes.

GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY JORDANS!

whitehousedownWHITE HOUSE DOWN (2013)
3 and a half out of 5 stars

John Cale (Channing Tatum), hoping to impress his his daughter, Emily, brings her for a tour at the White House during this interview for the Secret Service. However, a bomb detonates and father and daughter are separated while the White House is overtaken by a paramilitary group. It is up to John to save his daughter and the President (Jamie Foxx) when this turns out to be an inside job.

How many movies can you make about the White House? See: Olympus Has Fallen. Anyway, I didn’t catch that so I won’t be able to tell you which one is better though both Gerard Butler and Channing Tatum are plausible bodyguards/action heroes.

There’s never a dull moment and if you’re not worried about Channing Tatum, you’re worried about Joey King, who plays Emily. She is a prime example of our generation – using technology even though we are in mortal danger. Her final act really saved the day. That was a really smart move! Tatum and Foxx are quite a good team and even though they are being chased by big bad guys with big bad guns, they still have time to joke about and make sarcastic remarks. Lance Reddick from Fringe also stars along with Jason Clarke, last seen in Zero Dark Thirty and Gatsby.

President Sawyer: There’s some knives in the kitchen.
John Cale: Great. You can make me a sandwich.

DON’T MESS WITH THE JOES

GIJoeR2G.I. JOE: RETALIATION (2013)
3 out of 5 stars

The Joes are back and they are after Cobra for killing their brothers and framing them for the theft of nuclear warheads. Roadblock (Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson), Lady Jaye (Adrienne Palicki) and Flint (D.J. Cotrona) are the only survivors and they seek help from former G.I. Joe, Joseph Colton (Bruce Willis).

OMG! Lee Byung Hun! Wow, look at his ripped body and katana skills! I feel so much Asian pride when I see him. To be in Hollywood at 42 years old! Can’t wait to see him in Red 2 this summer! Speaking of age, Bruce Willis is 58 and he still can kick ass. His house beats the house of Mr. and Mrs. Smith’s. The movie packs a lot of action and I love those scenes with Storm Shadow. Walton Goggins makes an appearance here but he still doesn’t have a happy ending. Oops.

CONSCIOUSNESS

sideeffectsSIDE EFFECTS (2013)
4 and a half out of 5 stars

Emily Taylor is your average young woman, or is she not? After a botched suicide attempt after her husband’s release from prison, Emily starts see Dr. Jonathan Banks, a psychiatrist, to treat her depression. When one of her sleepwalking episodes turn fatal, is it the side effect of the new drug or has it always been in Emily’s mind, waiting for an opportunity to strike?

I liked how this movie has many twists and turns and it really kept me thinking throughout the movie. Every action and reaction is crucial and relevant to the case. For a psychiatrist, Jude Law is really good at investigating. Without spoiling too much, I would say Rooney Mara did a good job handling her states of mind. I hope she won’t be typecasted to play extreme characters all the time.  The loudest gasps were heard when something happened to 2012 PEOPLE’s Sexiest Man Alive. Whoops!

One of the best movies I’ve seen so far in 2013.

YOUR FUNNY YELLOW SHOES

10years10 YEARS (2012)
3 out of 5 stars

This film takes place at a high school reunion ten years after their graduation and revolves around this batch of students, some of which have evolved and some have not.

Reunions are such scary things – you want to go to find out how others are doing yet you are afraid of how people might view you. Are jerks still jerks? Are jokers still jokers? Are nerds still nerds?

There are a couple of stories interlocking here and the one that I liked most is the one with Reeves and Elise. Oh, I wished I was more like Elise – quiet but with an edge. I need to find that edge! I predicted that storyline from miles away and OMG that song – I was just waiting for “yellow shoes” to appear. The other interesting guy is Garrity, who brought his wife along, and reveals his hidden past. Wow that side is really unexpected but there are always surprises to be found.

The lead is Channing Tatum (biggest face on the poster) but his story was mildly interesting though it was nice to see him work with real-life wife, Jenna Dewan-Tatum. Plus, Scott Porter (Hart of Dixie) sings in this too!

AB FAB

MAGIC MIKE (2012)
3 out of 5 stars

When I first heard about Magic Mike, I was literally screaming. Where can you find Channing Tatum, Matt Bomer, Alex Pettyfer, Matthew McConaughey and Joe Manganiello in one movie – all under-dressed? ALL THE ABS!

One of the opening scenes involves Manganiello stitching his golden thong and the guys slapping scented lotion on their legs. EYE OPENER! Plus, Manganiello’s stagename is B.D.R. – something my blog is not ready for yet.

While the “bigger picture” was for Tatum’s character to finally become an entrepreneur, I’m sure most of the audience can only see one picture – hot men stripping! When it first started, it sure felt a little awkward watching it but as more routines came and went, it started to feel almost okay to watch. LOTS of gyrating and grabbing going on. I expected more scenes from Matt Bomer though. And in case you’re wondering why Tito looks so familiar, that’s because he’s played by Adam Rodríguez – Eric on CSI: Miami!

It’s a fun movie and I believe those guys might have done more grooming than I do. I also believe this also serves as an important lesson regarding underwear. I read once somewhere that we should all dump underwear we do not want to be caught dead in simply because life is unpredictable. Pettyfer’s character should know that by now.

WHY DIDN’T IT BLOW UP?

21 JUMP STREET (2012)
– 4 out of 5 stars

This has got to be one of the funniest films this year!

Based on the TV series that made Johnny Depp, Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill star as two cops who go undercover in a high school to stop a new but fatal synthetic drug.

Here they are, young cops looking for car chases and explosions and all they’ve got to worry about are parties, being cool and whether they should be one-strapping or double-strapping their haversacks. One of the highlights was when Schmidt and Jenko took the drugs and were high as hell. What follows was really crazy, like Channing Tatum clashing into the gongs. The other highlight has to be the Prom and look out for a cameo by Johnny Depp – or if you were well-trained to his cheekbones, you’d have spotted him way before the others.

LIFE IS ALL ABOUT MOMENTS

THE VOW (2012)
– 3 out of 5 stars

RACHEL MCADAMS!

I have this urge to shout her name whenever I see her on film. She’s just so radiant.

Leo: Life’s all about moments, of impact and how they changes our lives forever. But what if one day you could no longer remember any of them?

Channing Tatum and McAdams play Leo and Paige, a happily-married couple who face their biggest obstacle when Paige loses her memory in a car accident. She loses the memories of the past five years and her relationship with her husband. Faced with Paige’s strict parents and an ex-fiance (who’s become current fiance to Paige), Leo has to do everything to win his wife back.

I watched some of the interviews McAdams did while promoting the show so I know the ultimate ending – did Paige regain her memory? Well, it didn’t really spoil the show for me. Some parts of the show were quite slow-moving and at some point, you’re like “what’s wrong with them?!” But one thing the show managed to prove was that no matter, we will find ourselves, our calling, our purpose in life, or whatever you call it, eventually.

That was the one thing that I took from the movie.

And of course, the beauty of Rachel McAdams never fails to amaze me.

SHE DOESN’T NEED WEAPONS

HAYWIRE (2011)
– 3 and a half out of 5 stars

Gina Carano stars as Mallory Kane, a covert operative who has been crossed and betrayed after a rescue mission gone wrong. Now a wanted criminal, she has to use her abilities and skills to exact revenge on those who have set her up.

Let’s just say you wouldn’t want to mess with Gina Carano after watching this. Carano is former MMA fighter and everytime she gets into a fight, I feel sorry for the guys.  She bounces off walls, likes to use her super-muscular thighs as her weapon and she can really hit you where it hurts. I watched this mainly because of Michael Fassbender and even though I know his character doesn’t survive the movie, those few minutes are absolutely worth it! His end wasn’t pretty, but those few minutes where they dressed up as a couple – BEST!

The characters and storyline can get messy if you do not pay attention and some parts can be a bit slow-moving. I know because I heard someone snoring in the theatre! So rude -tsk!

WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, THEY DON’T

G.I. JOE: RISE OF COBRA (2009)
– 3 and a half out of 5 stars

Based on the comic books and cartoon series, G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra actually seems like a two-hour, live version of those cartoon episodes you see. Set in the not too distant future, a battle breaks out between the G.I. Joes (an elite military unit) and the Cobra organization when a nanotechnology-based warfare weapon is invented.

It’s an exciting show with lots of explosions, car chases, high-tech machinery and weaponry. The cast is an eyeful too. Ripcord is kinda funny and especially clumsy when in his Accelerator suit initally – all because he did not read the manual. The Baroness is quite hot (very well-endowed despite her scarily-thin legs) but I prefer Scarlett (with healthier-looking legs) and her weapon of choice – the ‘upgraded’ crossbow! But I guess, all eyes were on Storm Shadow (Lee Byung Hun) when he appeared! At least Iwas looking forward to it. He works for Cobra and regularly squares off against his ‘brother’, Snake Eyes, who’s working for the Joes. Everytime they do their ninja thing, I’m hooked.

BERRYLICIOUS

STEP UP 2: THE STREETS (2008)
– 3 out of 5 stars

Caught Step Up 2 and I think it was average for a movie but the dances are good!

I mean, when you watch a dance-themed movie, you don’t expect to have an extremely good plot but if there is, then it’s good. The storyline is kinda typical but it’s nice to see that all the misfits and outcasts are together, doing what they like and building their sense of self. 

IF YOU STEP UP, I’LL STEP UP TOO

STEP UP (2006)
– 3 and a half stars out of 5 stars

Great movie. Love the moves. Love the leads. Love the chemistry.

Although it was quite predictable at some point of time, the dance moves just blew me off and kinda distracted me. Went to check out the soundtrack (great soundtrack, by the way) later at MJ and they were playing some dancy music – which kinda made me wanna dance, after all the hip-hop and twists and lifts. 3 and a half stars out of 5 stars. What really amazed me was how female lead Jenna Dewan danced so well in heels! I think normal folk like us could have fallen off the stage. Male lead Channing Tatum is charming too, though the fact that he’s bisexual kinda disturbs me sometimes. And, I gotta mention that they executed the dance moves all by themselves – no stand-ins or doubles. Cool!

OH BOY, SHE’S THE MAN!

SHE’S THE MAN (2006)
– 3 and a half out of 5 stars

Well, from the title, I think it’s obvious that I went to watch She’s The Man, starring Amanda Bynes.

Try solving the riddle in the poster first.

Amanda Bynes’ really funny trying to impersonate her brother. Like those ‘ahem’ parts where she deepens her voice deliberately, acting to be in extreme pain when a soccer ball hits her crouch, the part at the carnival where she changes into her brother in this merry-go-round thing and the catfight! And the guys are just plain cute, or hot for that matter. Like Duke (Channing Tatum). Well, the ending was also nice, with the final soccer match showdown. Like the father said “Is it me, or does this soccer match has more nudity than others?”. Oh, did I mention that Viola’s ex is really an irritating crybaby? Oh my, he’s worst than a girl!

Other than that, it has agreat soundtrack to boot! Especially All-American Rejects!!! Dirty Little Secret and Move Along!!! Wow, I tell you, when the guitar started to strum and the drums started to beat, I really feel like jumping up and down!! And to top off, I have changed my blog music to All-American Rejects’ Move Along – my favourite song of the moment.