LOADS OF BAT PUNS

LEGOMOVIETHE LEGO MOVIE (2014)
4 out of 5 stars

WATCH IT BECAUSE…
1) EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!
2) There are hilarious punchlines coming out the mouths of these Lego figurines!
3) Who knew Liam Neeson can be both good cop and bad cop?
4) The one-sided friendship between Superman and Green Lantern.

Vitruvius: All of this is true because it rhymes.

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GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY JORDANS!

whitehousedownWHITE HOUSE DOWN (2013)
3 and a half out of 5 stars

John Cale (Channing Tatum), hoping to impress his his daughter, Emily, brings her for a tour at the White House during this interview for the Secret Service. However, a bomb detonates and father and daughter are separated while the White House is overtaken by a paramilitary group. It is up to John to save his daughter and the President (Jamie Foxx) when this turns out to be an inside job.

How many movies can you make about the White House? See: Olympus Has Fallen. Anyway, I didn’t catch that so I won’t be able to tell you which one is better though both Gerard Butler and Channing Tatum are plausible bodyguards/action heroes.

There’s never a dull moment and if you’re not worried about Channing Tatum, you’re worried about Joey King, who plays Emily. She is a prime example of our generation – using technology even though we are in mortal danger. Her final act really saved the day. That was a really smart move! Tatum and Foxx are quite a good team and even though they are being chased by big bad guys with big bad guns, they still have time to joke about and make sarcastic remarks. Lance Reddick from Fringe also stars along with Jason Clarke, last seen in Zero Dark Thirty and Gatsby.

President Sawyer: There’s some knives in the kitchen.
John Cale: Great. You can make me a sandwich.

DON’T MESS WITH THE JOES

GIJoeR2G.I. JOE: RETALIATION (2013)
3 out of 5 stars

The Joes are back and they are after Cobra for killing their brothers and framing them for the theft of nuclear warheads. Roadblock (Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson), Lady Jaye (Adrienne Palicki) and Flint (D.J. Cotrona) are the only survivors and they seek help from former G.I. Joe, Joseph Colton (Bruce Willis).

OMG! Lee Byung Hun! Wow, look at his ripped body and katana skills! I feel so much Asian pride when I see him. To be in Hollywood at 42 years old! Can’t wait to see him in Red 2 this summer! Speaking of age, Bruce Willis is 58 and he still can kick ass. His house beats the house of Mr. and Mrs. Smith’s. The movie packs a lot of action and I love those scenes with Storm Shadow. Walton Goggins makes an appearance here but he still doesn’t have a happy ending. Oops.

CONSCIOUSNESS

sideeffectsSIDE EFFECTS (2013)
4 and a half out of 5 stars

Emily Taylor is your average young woman, or is she not? After a botched suicide attempt after her husband’s release from prison, Emily starts see Dr. Jonathan Banks, a psychiatrist, to treat her depression. When one of her sleepwalking episodes turn fatal, is it the side effect of the new drug or has it always been in Emily’s mind, waiting for an opportunity to strike?

I liked how this movie has many twists and turns and it really kept me thinking throughout the movie. Every action and reaction is crucial and relevant to the case. For a psychiatrist, Jude Law is really good at investigating. Without spoiling too much, I would say Rooney Mara did a good job handling her states of mind. I hope she won’t be typecasted to play extreme characters all the time.  The loudest gasps were heard when something happened to 2012 PEOPLE’s Sexiest Man Alive. Whoops!

One of the best movies I’ve seen so far in 2013.

YOUR FUNNY YELLOW SHOES

10years10 YEARS (2012)
3 out of 5 stars

This film takes place at a high school reunion ten years after their graduation and revolves around this batch of students, some of which have evolved and some have not.

Reunions are such scary things – you want to go to find out how others are doing yet you are afraid of how people might view you. Are jerks still jerks? Are jokers still jokers? Are nerds still nerds?

There are a couple of stories interlocking here and the one that I liked most is the one with Reeves and Elise. Oh, I wished I was more like Elise – quiet but with an edge. I need to find that edge! I predicted that storyline from miles away and OMG that song – I was just waiting for “yellow shoes” to appear. The other interesting guy is Garrity, who brought his wife along, and reveals his hidden past. Wow that side is really unexpected but there are always surprises to be found.

The lead is Channing Tatum (biggest face on the poster) but his story was mildly interesting though it was nice to see him work with real-life wife, Jenna Dewan-Tatum. Plus, Scott Porter (Hart of Dixie) sings in this too!

AB FAB

MAGIC MIKE (2012)
3 out of 5 stars

When I first heard about Magic Mike, I was literally screaming. Where can you find Channing Tatum, Matt Bomer, Alex Pettyfer, Matthew McConaughey and Joe Manganiello in one movie – all under-dressed? ALL THE ABS!

One of the opening scenes involves Manganiello stitching his golden thong and the guys slapping scented lotion on their legs. EYE OPENER! Plus, Manganiello’s stagename is B.D.R. – something my blog is not ready for yet.

While the “bigger picture” was for Tatum’s character to finally become an entrepreneur, I’m sure most of the audience can only see one picture – hot men stripping! When it first started, it sure felt a little awkward watching it but as more routines came and went, it started to feel almost okay to watch. LOTS of gyrating and grabbing going on. I expected more scenes from Matt Bomer though. And in case you’re wondering why Tito looks so familiar, that’s because he’s played by Adam Rodríguez – Eric on CSI: Miami!

It’s a fun movie and I believe those guys might have done more grooming than I do. I also believe this also serves as an important lesson regarding underwear. I read once somewhere that we should all dump underwear we do not want to be caught dead in simply because life is unpredictable. Pettyfer’s character should know that by now.

WHY DIDN’T IT BLOW UP?

21 JUMP STREET (2012)
– 4 out of 5 stars

This has got to be one of the funniest films this year!

Based on the TV series that made Johnny Depp, Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill star as two cops who go undercover in a high school to stop a new but fatal synthetic drug.

Here they are, young cops looking for car chases and explosions and all they’ve got to worry about are parties, being cool and whether they should be one-strapping or double-strapping their haversacks. One of the highlights was when Schmidt and Jenko took the drugs and were high as hell. What follows was really crazy, like Channing Tatum clashing into the gongs. The other highlight has to be the Prom and look out for a cameo by Johnny Depp – or if you were well-trained to his cheekbones, you’d have spotted him way before the others.