YOU DON’T MESS WITH FAMILY

FF6FAST & FURIOUS 6 (2013)
3 and a half out of 5 stars

The gang is back!

Dom and the guys have retired after the events from Fast Five but reunite again when Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) offers to clear their names in exchange for taking down Owen Shaw (Luke Evans) and Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), who has been presumed dead.

There is definitely more action now. Gina Carano (Haywire) is Hobbs’ partner and she really packs a punch. But Michelle Rodriguez is not to be trifled with either.  The two of them plus Gal Gadot definitely give the fairer sex an edge. Too bad about Elsa Pataky, come on, give Mrs. Chris Hemsworth a chance to fight!

The franchise has always been about cars and we were treated to some cool cars, particularly those modified cars that Luke Evans drives. The biggest WTF moment happens at the highway with the tank. I will not reveal it so keep a lookout for it if you watch it. It is as unbelievable as it is jaw-dropping.

Comic relief comes mainly from Roman (Tyrese).

Roman: Better hide your baby oil.
Hobbs: Better hide your big-ass forehead.

STAY TILL THE START OF THE (ACTUAL) CREDITS FOR AN EXTRA SCENE!

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DON’T MESS WITH THE JOES

GIJoeR2G.I. JOE: RETALIATION (2013)
3 out of 5 stars

The Joes are back and they are after Cobra for killing their brothers and framing them for the theft of nuclear warheads. Roadblock (Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson), Lady Jaye (Adrienne Palicki) and Flint (D.J. Cotrona) are the only survivors and they seek help from former G.I. Joe, Joseph Colton (Bruce Willis).

OMG! Lee Byung Hun! Wow, look at his ripped body and katana skills! I feel so much Asian pride when I see him. To be in Hollywood at 42 years old! Can’t wait to see him in Red 2 this summer! Speaking of age, Bruce Willis is 58 and he still can kick ass. His house beats the house of Mr. and Mrs. Smith’s. The movie packs a lot of action and I love those scenes with Storm Shadow. Walton Goggins makes an appearance here but he still doesn’t have a happy ending. Oops.

POP YOUR PECS!

JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND (2012)
– 3 out of 5 stars

Apparently, this is a sequel. I didn’t know that till after the movie, which makes sense because I wasn’t interested in Journey to the Center of the Earththen, which kinda makes me want to watch now that I know there’s a chubby-faced Josh Hutcherson in it.

Anyway, Sean (Hutcherson) is back to find his grandfather, a fellow Vernian, who is thought to have gone missing while searching for a mysterious island. The effects may have been slightly exaggerated, maybe to enhance the 3D experience but some parts were too obvious to ignore. And, did Vanessa Hudgens really have to wear that on an island fieldtrip? Each time she appears onscreen, I’m distracted. Not to mention Sean, who is raging with teenage hormones. RARRH!

For those who are looking forward to laughs, there’s this scene where Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson starts to pop berries off his pecs. IT IS REAL. I’m just glad there isn’t much action from the giant creepy crawlies because I would have really freaked out. Kudos to Luis Guzman, who plays Hudgens’ father, for providing all the laughs! His facial reactions are priceless!

LET’S GO GET SOME CARS

FAST FIVE (2011)
–  4 out of 5 stars

After Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker) and Mia Toretto (Jordana Brewster) breaks Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) out of custody, they reunite in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Now wanted fugitives, they have to complete one last job to gain their freedom. With a local corrupt businessman, Reyes, and US DSS agent Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) after them, it’s going to take Dom and Brian a team of their own to finish the job before they get caught.

Part of the The Fast and the Furious franchise, this film has come a long way since its debut in 2001. I have only seen the first two but I can say tis instalment is 131 minutes of pure adrenaline. They are constantly on the run and what’s even better is that they have a good looking team of street racers (Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, Gal Gadot, Sung Kang, Tyrese Gibson, etc).

Personally, I think the female racers kicked ass! Mia’s opening scene set the tone of the movie while Gisele (Gal Gadot) came the closest to beating that 10 second camera recording and she got that palm print to solve all problems. Plus, she might just be the most beautiful garbage truck driver EVER. Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock’s brawl with Vin Diesel was totally worth half the price of the movie ticket, and it didn’t hurt to see them on the same side of the fence, one heavily-muscled arm to another. Though it seemed that he only had that oneshirt throughout the entire movie. The great thing about such heist movies is that they always manage to fool the audiences (along with the dumb cops) and it bugs me that I do not have enough eyes to see the tiny details that elude me because I was distracted by fast cars, flying roadblocks and explosions.

Stay for an extra scene during the credits that might hint of another sequel.

THE LITTLE RED PRIUS

THE OTHERS GUYS (2010)
– 3 and a half out of 5 stars

 Caught The Other Guys the other day and it was really funny! I mean, the combination of Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell is already funny… so how about them as partners?

With detectives Danson and Highsmith (Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and Samuel L. Jackson) being the most bad-ass and beloved cops of NYC, Terry and Allen (Wahlberg and Ferrell) are left to do all the paperwork instead. When Terry and Allen accidentally stumble onto a seemingly simple case that is actually complicated on many levels, they find danger at every turn and even their shoes were stolen.

Terry Hoitz: I’m like a peacock. You gotta let me fly!

Mark Wahlberg is pretty funny as the frustrated cop because he’s really mad at the audit-crazy and paperwork-loving Allen. Throughout the show, you’ll realize all these totally hot ladies making eyes at Ferrell – seriously, I have no idea where the magnetism is coming from. I’d rather go for Marky Mark! Another scene involving Allen’s mother-in-law is particularly funny because she has to pass all these really dirty messages between the couple. Plus, stay till the end of the credits for a short scene, and I like the fact that the ending credits has economical statistical facts all over in cool funky colours – what a way to know boring old stats.

T-I-R-E-D

GET SMART (2008)
– 3 and a half out of 5 stars 

Watched Get Smart and it’s damn funny – I was laughing throughout the entire movie. Now you know why I enjoy watching The Office so much. The staple and staple-remover potion was really ‘Eeew’ since that guy’s forehead is not a noticeboard! Great action scenes too though it’s quite hard to imagine Anne Hathaway and Steve Carrell as a couple.