FULL CANDY CIRCLE

HGWitchHuntersHANSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS (2013)
3 and a half out of 5 stars

The fairy tale takes a darker twist here as Hansel and Gretel become witch hunters! Yup, they are no longer witch baits but bait witches in order to kill them. They are hired to look into the case of missing children and end up finding out more about their past.

Wow, H&G is much more violent and explicit than the trailer depicts but maybe that’s because I’ve never seen the red band trailer. The blood and gore really splatters in all sorts of glorious manner. Their weapons are really cool – I like Gretel’s double-pointed crossbow! The details of the story ties up and it kind of explains why Hansel and Gretel ended up at the candy hut. But the witches looks really scary – I don’t understand why their faces have to be all white with scary eyes.

Hansel: Whatever you do, don’t eat the fuckin’ candy.

THE SAND GLASS

PRINCE OF PERSIA: THE SANDS OF TIME (2010)
– 3 and a half out of 5 stars

Finally caught Prince of Persia after so long!

Young Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal) was adopted from the streets of Persia by the King and grew up amongst royalty. He becomes a mighty warrior and prince along with his two elder brothers. After a spy sends word that the Holy City of Alamut has been supplying the enemies of Persia with weaponry, they plan an attack on the city. However, the King dies of mysterious circumstances shortly after and all fingers point at Dastan, he flees with Princess Tamina (Gemma Arterton) of Alamut in a bid to clear his name. Tamina tells Dastan that the dagger he possesses is the reason why Alamut was invaded and Dastan has to find out who framed him for the King’s death and also prevent the wrong hands from getting the sacred dagger.

Woah! Look at Jake Gyllenhaal’s muscles! Initially, it felt weird to look at it cos Jake Gyllenhaal looks more like the literary type? But after the first ten minutes of the movie, you kinda get used to those bulging muscles underneath his (usually) half-open shirt. The thing that amazes me most is not his muscles, but PARKOUR! Parkour is the physical discipline of training to overcome any obstacle within one’s path by adapting one’s movement to the environment. He trained in parkour for his role and was thus able to jump across buildings and land safely on them. Other aspects that were interesting were ostrich racing – who knew people could ride on them, the tax-avoiding Sheik and the scary snakes owned by the Hassansins.

MAKE A STAND

CLASH OF THE TITANS (2010)
– 3 and a half out of 5 stars 

So, I caught Clash Of The Titans on its opening day – April 1, 2010 – and I thought its trailers were much better.

This is a remake of the 1981 film of the same name and follows the adventures of Perseus, a demigod raised as a fisherman. The people of Argos have stopped praying to the Gods and are relying on their King instead, who have declared war against the Gods when they destroyed the statue of Zeus. Hades (God of the Underworld) arrives and kills the soldiers involved and demand that they sacrifice their daughter, Andromeda, or the Kraken will be released in 10 days.

Perseus, whose family was killed by Hades, leads a group of soldiers from Argo, to try to defeat the Kraken. Guided by Io, his spiritual guide, they set off to seek the Stygian Witches who will tell them how to defeat the Kraken – a supposedly impossible task of getting the head of Medusa. Along the way, they meet with obstacles like Calibos, giant scorpions (a truly heart-in-mouth moment) while coming across Pegasus, the Djinn and of course, Medusa.

It’s very action-packed and you can feel the adrenaline each time the soldiers and Perseus are being attacked. Especially the scorpions! They are HUGE. But at 106 minutes, it doesn’t feel long enough to be an epic and it felt sort of rushed at the ending. Sam Worthington is quite hot and I think some of us will be quite tempted to catch him in an upskirt moment because there are just (almost) so many of them. Gemma Arterton (Io) and Alexa Davalos (Andromeda) are very pretty! Anyway, I caught it in 2D (instead of 3D) because I’ve heard the 3D was only so-so because the movie was filmed in 2D and the conversion (to 3D) was done later.