NEON AND PINK MADNESS

SpringBreakers1SPRING BREAKERS (2013)
2 and a half out of 5 stars

The story revolves around four college girls who travel to Florida for their spring break. Things take a turn for the worst when they are arrested at a party and bailed out by Alien, a gangster and rapper who has his eyes on them.

There’s a lot of bikinis, booze, boobs and drugs in this movie. They are the ingredients for a fun and enjoyable spring break. Like I said earlier, things took a turn for the worst when Alien showed up. I don’t know what is it with James Franco but I don’t really like him as an actor anymore. He was all right in his earlier films (definitely not Oz the Great and Powerful) but here, not so much. Or, maybe, he was so convincing as a douchebag rapper, I dislike him.

The movie gravitated towards guns and violence and if it were up to me, the movie should have ended long time ago. That’s because I’m exactly Selena Gomez’s character – I will leave the party if it makes me uncomfortable. Of course the other girls didn’t take Selena’s lead and continued with their wild party and sang Britney Spears’ Everytime creepily.

SpringBreakers2

WALKING DOWN THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD

OzTGP

OZ: THE GREAT AND POWERFUL (2013)
4 out of 5 stars

Set 20 years before the story in The Wizard of Oz, it tells the tale of how Oscar Diggs arrived in the land of Oz. His arrival fulfills the prophecy of a wizard restoring order in Oz and overthrowing the evil witch who killed the King of Oz. Problem is, there are three witches – Theodora, Evanora and Glinda.

I’m not familiar with the story of Oz but this adventure seems thrilling enough. The three witches were beautifully portrayed by Mila Kunis, Rachel Weisz and Michelle Williams. Even the evil witches are so glamourous. This story tells the beginnings of the Wicked Witch of the West, or the green faced witch in the Wizard of Oz story.

What’s amazing is how Oz manages to trick the people of Oz with human technology. I mean, he wasn’t that amazing in the human world to begin with. I liked the flying monkey, voiced by Zach Braff, especially the part where he tries to distract the witch at the cemetery.

DON’T MESS WITH THE APES

RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES (2011)
– 4 out of 5 stars

Will Rodman (James Franco) works at Gen-Sys, where he has been researching the cure to Alzheimer’s, a disease that his father is suffering from. Their successful test subject is Caesar, a chimpanzee, who has human-like intelligence and later lives with Rodman and his father. When a freak accident causes Caesar to get locked up, he eventually proves himself to be as smart as, if not smarter than, humans and leads the other apes to a better life.

The apes can be pretty scary, especially when they bare their teeth and start pummelling with their fists. Young Caesar is so adorable and smart! He knows sign language! As he grows older, he became part of the Rodmans and I thought he was really brave to defend Will’s father, Charles (John Lithgow), who was bullied by his neighbour when his Alzheimer’s took a turn for the worst. Caesar knew he shouldn’t be out in public yet he knew he couldn’t do nothing. None of the people there reacted to the bullying. I tell you, that neighbour is a total asshole and he completely deserved what he got. Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter films) is such a naughty boy as well, I can’t agree more with what happened to him.

Things got really sad when Caesar was captured and I teared up when he drew that symbol on the wall. The real movie begins when Caesar uses his smarts against the other apes in capture, who basically think like jungle-mates – “survival of the fittest”. There was a chimpanzee having some sort of manicure. Anyway, Caesar manages to get them to abide to him and the battle begins. The zoo scene was scary – be careful with what you build your fences with. The scene at the Golden Gate Bridge has to be one of the most exciting scenes ever and it showcased much of Caesar’s intellect. I bet Caesar read Sun Tze or some strategist manual. Plus, I liked the ending and those magical three words that were uttered.

Andy Serkis, who plays Caesar, is the king of motion capture performances!

STAY FOR A SHORT SCENE DURING THE CREDITS!

WHEN THE TWO MOONS CONVERGE

YOUR HIGHNESS (2011)
– 2 and a half out of 5 stars

A medieval comedy revolving around two Princes – Prince Fabious and Prince Thadeous, and the adventure that awaits them when they set off to rescue Fabious’ bride-to-be, Belladonna (Zooey Deschanel) from the evil wizard, Leezar (Justin Theoroux).

It’s pretty obvious this was gonna be a bad, mad movie but I wanted to watch it because the trailer made me laugh so badly – the part where James Franco got bitten and no one wanted to help him suck the venom out. LOL! Natalie Portman plays a fierce warrior who can hold her own, even better than the combined strength and wits of Thaddeus and Courtney, his hilarious and funny-looking sidekick.

Danny McBride and James Franco collaborated on Pineapple Expressand I have to say it was much funnier than this movie. There are plenty of lewd jokes (some that border the line of disgusting) and that prized souvenir from the minotaur that appears from the second half of the film can be rather distracting. Can’t believe they would rather banPineapple Express and bring this in instead. But oh well, it was a good laugh.

THE ROCK HAS BEEN WAITING

127 HOURS (2010)
– 4 and a half out of 5 stars

First things first:

I KEPT MY EYES OPEN FOR 127 HOURS!

127 Hours stars James Franco as Aron Ralston, whose right arm got trapped by a boulder while canyoneering alone, with no one aware of his whereabouts. It recounts his ordeal back in 2003, and what he did in order to survive.

Aron Ralston: This rock has been waiting for me my entire life. It’s entire life, ever since it was a bit of meteorite a million, billion years ago. In space. It’s been waiting to come here. Right, right here. I’ve been moving towards it my entire life. The minute I was born, every breath that I’ve taken, every action has been leading me to this crack on the out surface.

Based on Ralston’s autobiography, Between A Rock And A Hard Place, you should know he lived to tell the tale and what he did to free himself – amputating his right arm with a dull knife. During those 127 hours, he tries to free his arm, ration his food and water supply and at the same time, protect himself from the elements. He starts imagining things (especially those where he frees his arm from the boulder) and also recalls his past, loved ones and regrets. Some of these personal messages and regrets were all captured on his video camera, which were later used as material to make the movie. He goes from being in denial to accepting his fate, writing his own epitaph on the wall.

Aron Ralston: Listen! Don’t buy the cheap made-in-China multi-tool.

Well, there’s this (in)famous amputation that everyone’s talking about and it will either make you watch the movie, or make you not watch it. Seriously, I was a little worried because there’s been reports of people fainting or vomitting during that scene. But my sister and I were more worried about people fainting or vomitting on us. But I made it through and it may be a bloody and intense scene, but it just tells you how much Ralston wants to get out of there alive. And it won’t be so bad once you’ve seen his previous attempts. The most painful scene was when he cuts the nerve. Whooosh. Strangely, the part where I felt like vomitting was when he drank his own urine. He’s right, it’s no Slurpee and personally, I don’t think yawning is as contagious as vomitting. The gagging sounds didn’t help. When he finally frees himself, I guess you can say it was the triumph of the human spirit. And he sure got a damn strong will to live because he still had to make his way out of that canyon before he could get help. 4 and a half out of 5 stars.

Aron Ralston: I do still have the tiniest bit of water left. Well, actually, I’ve resorted… I’ve had a couple pretty good gulps of urine that I saved in my Camelbak. I sort of let it distill… It tastes like hell.

I think the most important thing to take away from this experience is to always leave a note. Others might include using a stool to reach for items (like a Swiss army knife) in high places and don’t leave your Gatorade in the van. Oh, and I probably won’t look at my contact lenses the same way again.

To end this review, enjoy this video!

As at time of post, the movie is up for six nominations at the 83rd Academy Awards.

(And if you’re up for it, visit my Tumblr for 127 Hours-related posts!)

HE’S TOO FAST FOR TV

THE GREEN HORNET (2011)
– 3 and a half out of 5 stars 

The Green Hornet is the alter-ego of Britt Reid (Seth Rogen), heir of The Daily Sentinel after his father died of an allergy. The town’s gangs are under the control of Chudnofsky (Christoph Waltz), whom his late father was trying to expose. Britt convinces his “executive associate”-slash-sidekick Kato (Jay Chou), that they should pose as criminals while fighting crime so as to infiltrate them.

Wow, this is the first 2011 film I’ve seen in 2011! That’s because most of the films that are showing now have already been released in 2010.

Britt Reid: Kato, I want you to take my hand and I want you to come with me on this adventure.
Kato: I’ll go with you but I don’t want to touch you.

Anyway, the Black Beauty is pretty impressive – it’s almost indestructible, hasthat Ben-Hur shit and can even operate on just its front wheels. One amusing thing to note is that all the switches on board are written in Chinese! Jay Chou does get quite a few funny one-liners and his English isn’t all that bad, except for that much publicized “thumting”. Christoph Waltz as Chudnofsky is hilarious because he’s a gangster who seems offended whenever people insult his dress sense and finds it necessary to reinvent himself to become more relevant(Bloodnofsky, anyone?). I thought it was cute that they included the sushi USB drive in the ending – that cute little thing sure got many cars chasing after it. And a cameo by James Franco is always welcome!

Click HERE for more funny quotes!

Kato: We saved those people and all they talk about is this stupid head.

PROCESSING…

SPIDER-MAN 3 (2007)
–  3 and a half out of 5 stars

Saw Spider-man 3 on Wednesday. 

Anyway, the movie, I think, focuses more on the “human” aspect than the “superhero”aspect; talking about forgiveness and making choices. Spider-man is like so full of himself (“Everybody loves me”), likes to show off his skills and behaves like a celebrity. This time, his enemies include Green Goblin the Second, the Sandman and Venom. The Green Goblin was so funny? I mean how can a villian almost lose his life because he bumped his head on a spiderweb? And the first thing that came to my mind when I saw Sandman was “what a waste”. I mean, Singapore and other countries face a shortage of sand and Sandman uses it like nobody’s business? Later, I heard from my sister that they utilized corn instead – cheaper and in abundance. As for Venom, I think his weakness is similar as DareDevil’s although it attacks them in different ways. Topher Grace is like damn evil looking in that suit and probably in need of a dentist too.

Back to movie-business, the effects are good though the movie started slow enough to make the guy beside me doze off for quite a while. The movie delivers a few laughs, what’s with the vibrating table at the Daily Bugle to the French restaurant scene. Peter Parker is funny when he’s under Venom’s influence; combing his fringe down, flirting and dancing in the streets. Like he’s another person altogether. Personally, I think Venom is the most watchable villain, since he’s evil, slimy and black. He looks worst (more menacing) in the movie than the cartoon, maybe it’s more realistic, that’s why? But I liked the ending; all misunderstandings cleared and good triumphs over evil once again.