LOADS OF BAT PUNS

LEGOMOVIETHE LEGO MOVIE (2014)
4 out of 5 stars

WATCH IT BECAUSE…
1) EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!
2) There are hilarious punchlines coming out the mouths of these Lego figurines!
3) Who knew Liam Neeson can be both good cop and bad cop?
4) The one-sided friendship between Superman and Green Lantern.

Vitruvius: All of this is true because it rhymes.

I NEED A CHICKEN BURRITO

BATTLESHIP (2012)
– 4 out of 5 stars

This was a really cool movie! I liked it better than I expected, and it’s not just because Taylor Kitsch was inside.

Based on the Hasbro board game, an fleet of alien ships crashes into the seas of the Hawaiian islands during a naval exercise. These aliens turn out to be aggressive and the three ships trapped within the alien-constructed forcefield have to fight for the survival of the planet.

Alex Hopper: You’re gonna die, I’m gonna die, we’re all gonna die… Just not today.

Naval combat never looked so cool! At first the movie focused on what a slacker Alex Hopper (Kitsch) was and how he wasn’t utilizing his full potential. So it was really exciting to see him transform into the Captain when his ship, the USS John Paul Jones, was the last one standing. I liked it when Hopper and Nagata get together, from the start when the floor was “slippery” to the end when they fired shots at the alien ship.

Cora Raikes: Mahalo motherfucker.

Meanwhile, on the island, the aliens are taking over the satellite communications and we’re introduced to a wimpy NASA scientist, who provided lots of laughs as the geeky character. The ending was the one that blew my mind because there’s nothing hotter than veteran officers getting serious. Watch it to love it!

STAY TILL THE END OF THE CREDITS FOR AN EXTRA SCENE!

FROM ONE SON TO ANOTHER

WRATH OF THE TITANS (2012)
– 3 out of 5 stars

In this sequel to the 2010 film, the gods are losing their powers as the people are less devoted to their faith. As a result, the walls of Tartarus (the Underwrold) are breaking and monsters are creating havoc in the mortal world. Perseus is called upon to save his father, Zeus, when he is captured and drained of his powers to release Kronos.

Well, Sam Worthington’s hair really could use a trim. And Rosamund Pike can do exclaim in a manly fashion. There were plenty of  action scenes and they were quite packed since it’s only 99 minutes long. I fancied those scenes of Perseus with Pegasus – oh, the bond between them is adorable, especially when Perseus commented that Pegasus used to fly better.

ALPHA MIKE FOXTROT

THE A-TEAM (2010)
– 3 and a half out of 5 stars

Finally caught The A-Team and it’s GOOD! Lots of action, guns and explosives-good.

It’s about a group of soldiers who engages in outrageous plans and always manages to achieve their end. The A-Teams comprises of Colonel Hannibal Smith, Faceman, B.A. Baracus and Mad Murdock. One mission to retrieve the counterfeit money plates ends badly when their commanding officer was killed and the plates were stolen by another operative. They were put behind bars until someone from the CIA helps Hannibal bust out of prison, and Hannibal subsequently busts the rest of the team out of their respective prisons. They have to get the plates back while going against their both sides of the law.

Firstly, I think A.M.F. never sounded better as an acronym. The amazing thing is, no matter how crazy Hannibal’s plans are, they work. The lighter side of the team usually revolves around B.A. and Murdock; B.A. does not trust Murdock’s piloting skills and they have to put him under each time they take flight. The funniest and craziest character is definitely Murdock. Flying/steering with a tank is definitely odd, but the final showdown was quite a coup – I didn’t expect the cup trick to be applied to the containers! On a slightly shallow note, Jessica Biel is awesome – even when on a mission, she still tots around in her 3-inch heels and can still hold a gun steady! 3 and a half out of 5 stars.

Colonel John ‘Hannibal’ Smith: Give me an hour, I’m good. Give me a day, I’m great. Give me six months and I’m unbeatable.

MAKE A STAND

CLASH OF THE TITANS (2010)
– 3 and a half out of 5 stars 

So, I caught Clash Of The Titans on its opening day – April 1, 2010 – and I thought its trailers were much better.

This is a remake of the 1981 film of the same name and follows the adventures of Perseus, a demigod raised as a fisherman. The people of Argos have stopped praying to the Gods and are relying on their King instead, who have declared war against the Gods when they destroyed the statue of Zeus. Hades (God of the Underworld) arrives and kills the soldiers involved and demand that they sacrifice their daughter, Andromeda, or the Kraken will be released in 10 days.

Perseus, whose family was killed by Hades, leads a group of soldiers from Argo, to try to defeat the Kraken. Guided by Io, his spiritual guide, they set off to seek the Stygian Witches who will tell them how to defeat the Kraken – a supposedly impossible task of getting the head of Medusa. Along the way, they meet with obstacles like Calibos, giant scorpions (a truly heart-in-mouth moment) while coming across Pegasus, the Djinn and of course, Medusa.

It’s very action-packed and you can feel the adrenaline each time the soldiers and Perseus are being attacked. Especially the scorpions! They are HUGE. But at 106 minutes, it doesn’t feel long enough to be an epic and it felt sort of rushed at the ending. Sam Worthington is quite hot and I think some of us will be quite tempted to catch him in an upskirt moment because there are just (almost) so many of them. Gemma Arterton (Io) and Alexa Davalos (Andromeda) are very pretty! Anyway, I caught it in 2D (instead of 3D) because I’ve heard the 3D was only so-so because the movie was filmed in 2D and the conversion (to 3D) was done later.