NIGHT OUT WITH THE B-FACES

BacheloretteMovieBACHELORETTE (2012)
4 out of 5 stars

This movie is about a group of friends from high school who have to attend the wedding of Becky (Rebel Wilson) and cannot stop bitching about it because they were not the first to get married and they think Becky is the least attractive of them all. Havoc ensues during Becky’s bachelorette party when Regan (Dunst), Katie (Fisher) and Gena (Caplan) accidentally rips Becky’s dress and they have one night to fix it.

Katie: Silver lining! We’re going to get to throw a bachelorette party. We’re going to get to dress up and be cool. It’s going to be just like prom!

This was really funny and it’s possibly due to the fact that Kirsten Dunst uses the phrase “fuck” A LOT. I mean, in real life, people use the phrase all the time too. Like when she was making a call and the girls were squawking at the back, she mouths “shut the fuck up” and everyone is silent. Talk about it being the universal language. Another thing to note is the “journey” of the wedding dress. Double eew at the strippers’ club!

I think my favourite character is Gena (Lizzy Caplan) probably because she’s the coolest girl who acts like she doesn’t care about anything but she really does and her past with Clyde is so OMG. That is my favourite kind of “ship” ever. I also like Dunst’s character of Regan because she strives for perfection in a way not so different from most of us. Overall, I think it’s a good show though brides would prefer less hoo-ho from the night before their wedding.

THE ROCK HAS BEEN WAITING

127 HOURS (2010)
– 4 and a half out of 5 stars

First things first:

I KEPT MY EYES OPEN FOR 127 HOURS!

127 Hours stars James Franco as Aron Ralston, whose right arm got trapped by a boulder while canyoneering alone, with no one aware of his whereabouts. It recounts his ordeal back in 2003, and what he did in order to survive.

Aron Ralston: This rock has been waiting for me my entire life. It’s entire life, ever since it was a bit of meteorite a million, billion years ago. In space. It’s been waiting to come here. Right, right here. I’ve been moving towards it my entire life. The minute I was born, every breath that I’ve taken, every action has been leading me to this crack on the out surface.

Based on Ralston’s autobiography, Between A Rock And A Hard Place, you should know he lived to tell the tale and what he did to free himself – amputating his right arm with a dull knife. During those 127 hours, he tries to free his arm, ration his food and water supply and at the same time, protect himself from the elements. He starts imagining things (especially those where he frees his arm from the boulder) and also recalls his past, loved ones and regrets. Some of these personal messages and regrets were all captured on his video camera, which were later used as material to make the movie. He goes from being in denial to accepting his fate, writing his own epitaph on the wall.

Aron Ralston: Listen! Don’t buy the cheap made-in-China multi-tool.

Well, there’s this (in)famous amputation that everyone’s talking about and it will either make you watch the movie, or make you not watch it. Seriously, I was a little worried because there’s been reports of people fainting or vomitting during that scene. But my sister and I were more worried about people fainting or vomitting on us. But I made it through and it may be a bloody and intense scene, but it just tells you how much Ralston wants to get out of there alive. And it won’t be so bad once you’ve seen his previous attempts. The most painful scene was when he cuts the nerve. Whooosh. Strangely, the part where I felt like vomitting was when he drank his own urine. He’s right, it’s no Slurpee and personally, I don’t think yawning is as contagious as vomitting. The gagging sounds didn’t help. When he finally frees himself, I guess you can say it was the triumph of the human spirit. And he sure got a damn strong will to live because he still had to make his way out of that canyon before he could get help. 4 and a half out of 5 stars.

Aron Ralston: I do still have the tiniest bit of water left. Well, actually, I’ve resorted… I’ve had a couple pretty good gulps of urine that I saved in my Camelbak. I sort of let it distill… It tastes like hell.

I think the most important thing to take away from this experience is to always leave a note. Others might include using a stool to reach for items (like a Swiss army knife) in high places and don’t leave your Gatorade in the van. Oh, and I probably won’t look at my contact lenses the same way again.

To end this review, enjoy this video!

As at time of post, the movie is up for six nominations at the 83rd Academy Awards.

(And if you’re up for it, visit my Tumblr for 127 Hours-related posts!)

IT COULD HAVE BEEN “LOUGLE”

HOT TUB TIME MACHINE (2010)
– 4 out of 5 stars

Caught Hot Tub Time Machine a while back and it’s one of the funniest movie I’ve caught this year!

As the title suggests, four guys go on a vacation, chill out at the hot tub and go back to the 1980s! 1986 to be exact. However, they are told not to meddle with their past or their futures might become non-existent. But when Adam decides not to break up with hot girlfriend (because she stabbed him above the eye when he did), the other guys tries to alter their destinies too.

Throughout the night they went back to the ’86, the guys are always looking out when Phil, their grumpy bell-hop, loses his arm and his cheerful self. There were MANY close shaves; the part where the elevator goes up and down with the doors closing on his arm, the chainsaw, the rescue at the rooftop, etc. The look of disappointment on their faces when he manages to keep his arm is priceless. Then, there was the scene in the toilet when Lou has soap strategically placed on his face. The build-up to the scene was hilarious but I guess it’s far too explicit for me to put in words. But still damn funny! Love the 80s soundtrack too.

THE BEST WORST DATE

MY BEST FRIEND’S GIRL (2008)
– 3 out of 5 stars

Tank (Dane Cook, middle) is a guy who is hired by other guys to act like a girl’s worst date so that she’ll go back to her boyfriend gratefully. The complication arises when Tank’s best friend hires him to help him with his catch, Alexis… and as most romantic comedies go, Tank falls for Alexis.

The funniest part must be where Dustin accidentally shaves off his eyebrow and his solution to the problem. That got me laughing in stitches! But you start to side with Tank at Alexis’ sister’s wedding even though he does the worst imaginable.

I HATE JERKY VIDEOS

CLOVERFIELD (2008)
– 1 out of 5 stars 

Just came back from watching Cloverfield, one of the most hyped-up, over-rated and nauseating movie EVER.

This monster hoo-ha is super duper over-rated. I think about 15 minutes into the movie, I felt giddy and nauseous. The guy beside me was also shifting about in his seat while this other guy went to the gents twice during the movie. So for the remaining 55 minutes when jerky images were rampant, I was looking elsewhere – like the guys in front of me, the empty seats, the ceiling, the floor… everywhere except the screen. Shit man, I’m giving out my worse rating ever.

Eeew.