PREMATURE VENTRICULAR CONTRACTIONS

NO STRINGS ATTACHED (2011)
– 3 out of 5 stars

No Strings Attached is a romantic comedy starring Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman as Adam and Emma, two friends who decide to have a “no strings attached” physical relationship. However, this being a rom-com, one of them will start to develop real feelings and it starts throwing the relationship off balance.

Emma Kurtzman: He’s so tall… when he stands next to me, it looks like he’s kidnapping me.

The movie has its funny moments – like how they took off their clothes outside the car before continuing their business back in the car and seeing Natalie Portman trying to tackle Ashton Kutcher. I would think it’s Portman’s most “carefree” role yet – she jumps out from the back of the couch and calls people “bitch”. The height difference between her and Kutcher is hilarious.

Adam Franklin: You can’t fight me, you’re miniature. You fight like a hamster.

The ending is predictable but it’s a break from all the Oscar movies (127 Hours, Black Swan, The King’s Speech, etc). Nothing like a chick flick when you feel that James Franco hallucinates more in 127 Hours than Natalie Portman inBlack Swan.

Emma Kurtzman: You look like a pumpkin, bitch!

The only good thing is the Period Mix – how come no one thought of it before? Plus, if Emma is complaining that she’s not getting enough at Westwood Teaching Hospital, may I suggest she switch to Seattle Grace-Mercy West Hospital (location for Grey’s Anatomy) where doctors are good looking and always looking for a good time in the on-call room/supply closet. 3 out of 5 stars.

Adam Franklin: If you miss me, you can’t text, you can’t email, you can’t post it on my Facebook wall. If you really miss me, you come and see me.

LOVE AND LIFE IN NYC

NEW YORK, I LOVE YOU (2009)
– 3 out of 5 stars

Caught New York, I Love You some time back, but I didn’t feel much love at all.

Like its predecessor Paris Je t’aime, it is an anthology film that joins several love stories in New York. Featuring stars like Orlando Bloom, Natalie Portman, Shia LeBeouf, Ethan Hawke, Hayden Christensen, Anton Yelchin, Bradley Cooper, Maggie Q and Shu Qi – it is an ensemble you would want to see onscreen. The Ethan Hwake/Maggie Q segment made me blush cos Ethan Hawke was speaking really awkward stuff. Some other segments just made me feel more ‘lust’ than ‘love’.

I only liked two stories, which were directed by Brett Ratner and Joshua Marston. Brett Ratner directed this segment about a guy’s prom night after being ditched by his girlfriend (a 10-second appearance by Blake Lively). It ended up being the best night of his life – with his useful belt. Joshua Marston directed the segment where an old couple celebrates their 60th anniversary and rediscovers love for each other. Awww…

Anyway, I liked Paris Je t’aime better. Each segment brought out the theme better and there’s Gaspard Ulliel! I can still remember he charmed me the moment his messy hair, grey singlet, lit cigarette appeared onscreen. Not to mention he speaks smouldering French. Oohlala.

IT WON’T BE SOON BEFORE LONG

JUNO (2007)
– 4 and a half out of 5 stars

I think it’s one of the best films I’ve seen this year. No pretense – a very real and great script and acting too!

It all started with the chair and ended with one (watch the movie and you’ll know). Juno (Ellen Page) becomes pregnant and decides to give the baby up for adoption since she’s only 16 and is ill-equipped to care for the baby. She finds her prospective adoptive parents in the ads and meets Mark and Vanessa (Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner). And as the tagline goes, this is a comedy about growing up and the little bumps along the way. I’m so glad Juno got together with Bleeker (Michael Cera). They may not be the typical couple, but they are like so sweet together – especially towards the ending! Jennifer Garner acts really well, I mean, you can see how desperate she was to be a mother and how she was willing to sacrifice anything for it. Just seeing her touch Juno’s belly can make you cry. Oh, according to Jason Bateman, the reason you should watch Juno is not the heartwarming story behind it but because of the high-cut yellow shorts Michael has on!

Here’s the song Juno and Bleeker sang at the ending.

Anyone Else But You (originally performed by The Moldy Peaches)

Juno:
You’re a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on your back is the latest trend

Bleeker:
I don’t see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train
I kiss you all starry eyed, my body’s swinging from side to side
I don’t see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Juno:
Here is the church and here is the steeple
We sure are cute for two ugly people
I don’t see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Bleeker:
The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me
So why can’t, you forgive me?
I don’t see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Juno:
I will find my nitch in your car
With my mp3 DVD rumple-packed guitar
I don’t see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Both:
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu du

Juno:
Up up down down left right left right B A start
Just because we use cheats doesn’t mean we’re not smart
I don’t see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Bleeker:
You are always trying to keep it real
I’m in love with how you feel
I don’t see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Juno:
We both have shiny happy fits of rage
You want more fans, I want more stage
I don’t see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Bleeker:
Don Quixote was a steel driving man
My name is Adam I’m your biggest fan
I don’t see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Juno:
Squinched up your face and did a dance
You shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pants
I don’t see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Both:
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu du
But you