LOADS OF BAT PUNS

LEGOMOVIETHE LEGO MOVIE (2014)
4 out of 5 stars

WATCH IT BECAUSE…
1) EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!
2) There are hilarious punchlines coming out the mouths of these Lego figurines!
3) Who knew Liam Neeson can be both good cop and bad cop?
4) The one-sided friendship between Superman and Green Lantern.

Vitruvius: All of this is true because it rhymes.

CLEAR YOUR INTERNET HISTORY, DUDES

donjonDON JON (2013)
4 out of 5 stars

WATCH IT BECAUSE…
1) Joseph Gordon-Levitt writes and directs.
2) How “love at first sight” is bullshit.
3) How pretty girls who’ve got the “package” are bullshit. You can talk about vacuuming with me anytime you want. Guys who vacuum are sexy as hell.
4) Get an inside look at how guys think and work the crowd. Well, guys who quote the below…

Don Jon: There’s only a few things I really care about in life. My body. My pad. My ride. My family. My church. My boys. My girls. My porn.

WHAT MAKES A DRIVER

Rush2013RUSH (2013)
4 out of 5 stars

Still having F1 fever? Then this is the movie you should watch.

James Hunt: The closer you are to death, the more alive you feel. It’s a wonderful way to live. It’s the only way to drive.

This is the story of the rivalry/friendship (blurry lines between these two, if you ask me) between Formula One drivers James Hunt and Niki Lauda in the 1970s.

Cue 70s hair! Hunt is more charismatic and knows his way amongst women (hello, Natalie Dormer!) while Lauda is more keen on the sport and improving his car to become a better driver. Their personal lives are also interesting to watch especially when you see how different Hunt and Lauda approach women.

Back then, F1 racing can be fatal and I guess it makes it more thrilling to watch. It’s even astonishing to see Lauda back in the race after suffering third-degree burns six weeks later. The movie climaxes at the 1976 Japan race where race conditions are not optimal and it tests the lengths these men would go to win the championship. Personally, it was a good watch and those engines really revved me up.

Niki Lauda: A wise man can learn more from his enemies than a fool from his friends.

HIDDEN MEMORIES OF MAGIC

TMI1THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS: CITY OF BONES (2013)
4 out of 5 stars

Jace Wayland: My hair is naturally blonde… Just for the record.

Based on The Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare, we are introduced to the world of Shadowhunters through Clary (Lily Collins), who discovers she’s one of them on her 18th birthday. Her mother is missing and her world is invaded by monsters searching for the Mortal Cup, which has the power of creating more Shadowhunters, allowing humans who drink from the Cup to become half-Angels.

Clary Fray: Is this the part where you start tearing off strips of your shirt to bind my wounds?
Jace Wayland: If you wanted me to rip my clothes off, you should have just asked.

It is pretty obvious Jace has a sense of humour and he has some of the best lines in the movie. I have never read the book but if what I’ve seen is already so rich, I’ll bet what I’ll read will definitely make me go crazy. The movie sure doesn’t shy from kid-friendly content because the audience is introduced to demon dogs early in the movie. Scariest canine ever – comparable to those vampire dogs from Blade: Trinity.

Clary Fray: Have you fallen in love with the wrong person yet?
Jace Wayland: Unfortunately, Lady of the Haven, my one true love remains myself.
Clary Fray: At least,you don’t have to worry about rejection, Jace Wayland.
Jace Wayland: Not necessarily. I turn myself down occasionally, just to keep it interesting

There’s a slight twist towards the end which leads me to think that only Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Lena Headey could produce such beautiful offspring.The wonder of genes. Godfrey Gao stars as Magnus Bane, a party-loving and pants-hating warlock. Hurray for Asian talent in such a big production! Totally looking forward to the sequel because there are simply too many books in the series!

One last thing: how hot is Aidan Turner?!

TMI-Luke

Aidan Turner as Luke Garroway

Luke Garroway: I’m a werewolf, not a Golden Retriever.

JUSTICE FOREVER

kickass2KICK-ASS 2 (2013)
4 out of 5 stars

Yeah! Finally got to watch this movie that I’ve been anticipating since I watched the trailers. My favourite line has to be:

Hit Girl: Act like a bitch, get slapped like a bitch.

Kick Ass is back and he’s joining up with a group of similar-minded vigilantes to fight crime in New York City. Meanwhile, Red Mist is intent on revenge against Kick Ass for his father’s death and reincarnates himself as The Motherfucker along with his group of super villains.

They are still humans but they dress up as costumed superheroes to fight for justice and for revenge – depending which side you’re on. There are new characters like Colonel Stars and Stripes, Night Bitch and Dr. Gravity. Personally, I find the costumed couple pretty hilarious because everyone knows the power of a loaded handbag or a charged-up baseball bat.

Sometimes, I get a little teary-eyed while watching. Maybe it’s because these so-called superheroes are just teenagers who are trying to make a difference but people around them get hurt instead. Maybe it’s because they willingly give themselves to protect their city. It also begins the age-old question if we are allowed to take justice in own hands. Personally, I still prefer the first movie because there are more fighting scenes with Hit Girl though this one is not bad. Go adrenaline rush!

STAY TILL THE END OF THE CREDITS FOR AN EXTRA SCENE!

TO KISS OR KILL HIM

red2RED 2 (2013)
3 out of 5 stars

No one ever really retires, do they?

The group of Retired and Extremely Dangerous retirees are back this time to locate a nuclear weapon and prevent it from going off. It’s amazing how people of a certain age can still handle firearms with so much composure.

One of the best things is watching deal with able-bodied young men as if they were imbeciles. The next best thing is LEE BYUNG-HUN! He’s the youngest among them so he has the most action scenes. Eye candy!

Marvin: If there’s one thing I know, it’s women and covert operations.
Frank: Marvin, that’s two things.
Han Cho Bai: No, grasshopper. It is not.