NEON AND PINK MADNESS

SpringBreakers1SPRING BREAKERS (2013)
2 and a half out of 5 stars

The story revolves around four college girls who travel to Florida for their spring break. Things take a turn for the worst when they are arrested at a party and bailed out by Alien, a gangster and rapper who has his eyes on them.

There’s a lot of bikinis, booze, boobs and drugs in this movie. They are the ingredients for a fun and enjoyable spring break. Like I said earlier, things took a turn for the worst when Alien showed up. I don’t know what is it with James Franco but I don’t really like him as an actor anymore. He was all right in his earlier films (definitely not Oz the Great and Powerful) but here, not so much. Or, maybe, he was so convincing as a douchebag rapper, I dislike him.

The movie gravitated towards guns and violence and if it were up to me, the movie should have ended long time ago. That’s because I’m exactly Selena Gomez’s character – I will leave the party if it makes me uncomfortable. Of course the other girls didn’t take Selena’s lead and continued with their wild party and sang Britney Spears’ Everytime creepily.

SpringBreakers2

MAGIC AND ITS CONSEQUENCES

MIRROR MIRROR (2012)
– 2 and a half out of 5 stars 

This is one of two adaptations of Snow White coming out this year, and obviously, this is the lighter adaptation.

Armie Hammer is super dashing as the Prince and I can tell why the Queen (Julia Roberts) is at lost for words whenever he appears shirtless. The dwarves are more brutal and they really have character, even though some of them are smitten with Snow White. The ending was slightly different though I predicted it as soon as I saw the necklace (SPOILER?).

Like any Tarsem film, the colours are amazing and so are the costumes. One thing I didn’t get was the music video playing during the end credits. A little too Bollywood for my style.

WHEN THE TWO MOONS CONVERGE

YOUR HIGHNESS (2011)
– 2 and a half out of 5 stars

A medieval comedy revolving around two Princes – Prince Fabious and Prince Thadeous, and the adventure that awaits them when they set off to rescue Fabious’ bride-to-be, Belladonna (Zooey Deschanel) from the evil wizard, Leezar (Justin Theoroux).

It’s pretty obvious this was gonna be a bad, mad movie but I wanted to watch it because the trailer made me laugh so badly – the part where James Franco got bitten and no one wanted to help him suck the venom out. LOL! Natalie Portman plays a fierce warrior who can hold her own, even better than the combined strength and wits of Thaddeus and Courtney, his hilarious and funny-looking sidekick.

Danny McBride and James Franco collaborated on Pineapple Expressand I have to say it was much funnier than this movie. There are plenty of lewd jokes (some that border the line of disgusting) and that prized souvenir from the minotaur that appears from the second half of the film can be rather distracting. Can’t believe they would rather banPineapple Express and bring this in instead. But oh well, it was a good laugh.

NOT THAT DRUNK

SOMETHING BORROWED (2011)
– 2 and a half out of 5 stars

Based on the novel by Emily Griffin, the story tests the boundaries of love and friendship when Rachel (Ginnifer Goodwin)spends the night with Dex (Colin Egglefield), her best friend Darcy’s (Kate Hudson) fiance. Thrown into the mix is Ethan (John Krasinski), Rachel and Darcy’s childhood friend who wants someone of his own.

Ethan: I can’t take this ‘Daddy beats me because he loves me’ excuse.

John Krasinski was hilarious in this movie! He’s got the best lines and jokes, and his facial expressions were the icing on the cake. Movie-wise, the crucial parts were more or less in the trailer so you’re mostly there to know the ending. I guess audiences are led to Team Rachel because it kinda describes Darcy as a friend-zilla. But you’ll never know because there’s a sequel to this story (Something Blue) that is written in Darcy’s point of view. Colin Egglesfield is easy on the eyes but he doesn’t seem to joke much, or at all. So yeah, I’m for John Krasinski!

STAY FOR AN EXTRA SCENE DURING THE CREDITS!

EMBRACE THE SUCK

BEASTLY (2011)
– 2 and a half out of 5 stars 

This is a modern version of Beauty and the Beast that takes place in New York City. Kyle Kingson (Alex Pettyfer) is a wealthy and arrogant student who offends Kendra, a goth-loving student and witch, with his words. To teach him a lesson, Kendra casts a spell that disfigures Kyle and tells him that he has one year to find love or he will forever remain disfigured.

OMG IT’S ALEX PETTYFER! Even when he became all tattooed and scarred, he still retained his abs – like WTH! Granted, his abs were also tattooed and scarred but you can still eat your dinner and do your homework on them. Neil Patrick Harris provides some comic relief as Kyle’s tutor.

But I still prefer the original animated version of Beauty and the Beastbecause I didn’t find the story really convincing. Watch only if you’re a true fan of Pettyfer (he’s working out at the opening scene), Vanessa Hudgens or you just want something light and fluffy.