TOUCH THEM AND YOU DIE

violetanddaisy

VIOLET & DAISY (2011)
3 out of 5 stars

So, Violet and Daisy are teenage assassins with the most angelic faces. They accept jobs, kill people and exit with their fancy bicycles and lollipops. They even pop into the store to buy new clothes with their pay. No one would ever suspect them of being cold-hearted criminals. However, their world is turned upside down when a job changes their lives in the most unexpected ways.

First of all, I want to state that Alexis Bledel is THIRTEEN YEARS older than Saoirse Ronan! OMG she doesn’t seem to age a day since Gilmore Girls. The main selling point is these two girls can actually kill and get away with murder. So what happens when they are offered a chance to act their age and receive the love and care they were denied that led them to this path? Sadly, not much of the girls’ past were revealed and not enough of the girls’ in action were shown. I would have loved to see them take down more bad guys.

THE BEGINNINGS OF A VISIONARY

jobsmovieJOBS (2013)
3 out of 5 stars

This is the story of how Steve Jobs became the legend he was – from college dropout to entrepreneur.

First of all, I love the trailer for this because it features Can’t Hold Us from Macklemore & Ryan Lewis!


Personally, I’m not sure if Steve Jobs appeared topless as many times as Ashton Kutcher did in the movie because just the trailer only featured many topless shots. It was quite interesting to see how much of a perfectionist he was (DUDE, TYPEFACE IS IMPORTANT) and then it’s quite sad how he can seem lost in his own fantasy at the risk of his company’s profits. I wished they showed more about the creation of ipod, ipod nano and the iphone though.

RELAX BODY!

RIPDR.I.P.D. (2013)
3 out of 5 stars

What happens when law enforcement officers die? They join the Rest In Peace Department or the R.I.P.D.. It’s a little sad they still have to stay in the same job in their afterlife but I guess they want to protect the weak anyway. Their job is to rid the living world of “Deados” or spirits that remained on Earth as monsters. They look human but decay and destruction follow them eg. leaky pipes, faulty lights etc.

It may seem like a Men In Black ripoff whenever the monsters appear but the story behind the monsters is actually quite cool. I like how living Nick (Ryan Reynolds) and dead Nick have something common to investigate. Nick’s avatar as an old Chinese guy is hilarious because he’s often seen welding a banana, while Roy’s (Jeff Bridges) avatar played by Marisa Miller is super duper hot.

TO KISS OR KILL HIM

red2RED 2 (2013)
3 out of 5 stars

No one ever really retires, do they?

The group of Retired and Extremely Dangerous retirees are back this time to locate a nuclear weapon and prevent it from going off. It’s amazing how people of a certain age can still handle firearms with so much composure.

One of the best things is watching deal with able-bodied young men as if they were imbeciles. The next best thing is LEE BYUNG-HUN! He’s the youngest among them so he has the most action scenes. Eye candy!

Marvin: If there’s one thing I know, it’s women and covert operations.
Frank: Marvin, that’s two things.
Han Cho Bai: No, grasshopper. It is not.

TRUST THE SPIRIT HORSE

lonerangerTHE LONE RANGER (2013)
3 out of 5 stars

The story starts as Tonto, a Native American warrior, recounts the tale of how John Reid became the legendary Lone Ranger. It is 1869 and the railroad business is expanding but at the expense of the land of the Comanche Native Americans. John Reid’s brother, Dan, and his Rangers are ambushed and killed by the gang led by outlaw, Butch Cavendish. All were dead until a spirit horse awakens John as a spirit walker and Tonto advises him as he tries to avenge his brother and bring Cavendish to Justice.

At 149 minutes, it is pretty long and some parts might be slightly draggy. The build-up to the final scene really takes quite a while. But, at least the music was entertaining as it is an extended arrangement of Gioachino Rossini’s “William Tell Overture”.  It takes a man to wear the mask throughout the movie and Armie Hammer has the voice and face to do so. But it wouldn’t be complete with Johnny Depp’s eccentric take on Tonto especially when he interacts with the Spirit Horse. Helena Bonham-Carter’s ivory leg is a plus.

TOUGH AS BITCHES

theheat2013THE HEAT (2013)
3 out of 5 stars

When you put two people that are polar opposites in a team, you get The Heat. Sarah Ashburn (Sandra Bullock) is straight-laced FBI agent while Shannon Mullins (Melissa McCarthy) is a foul-mouthed and violent detective. An unexpected bond results when they team up to take down a Boston drug lord.

It takes a while to warm up to this pairing especially after Sandra Bullock’s character chastises those K9 dogs for their inability to sniff out drugs beyond the smell of meat. The fun starts whenever Melissa McCarthy is around. She may be foul-mouthed and swears like a sailor but she is very entertaining. The funniest scenes often occur whenever Mullins is bossing Ashburn around – whether it is on the dancefloor or in the warehouse. The diner straw scene is super disturbing!

If there’s a sequel, I’ll be there!

THE WOLF PACK HEADS BACK

hangover3THE HANGOVER PART III (2013)
3 out of 5 stars

It’s the final part to the Hangover trilogy!

The Wolf Pack is trying to get Alan (Zach Galifianakis) to a rehabilitation facility when they are ambushed by Marshall (John Goodman), mob leader, who has a bone to pick with Chow (Ken Jeong). Marshall takes Doug (Justin Bartha) as collateral and gives them three days to find Chow.

Understandably, some people may have gotten tired of the drunk, hungover not-funny jokes in this sequel. Well, to me, the very first Hangover was the funniest ever – I don’t remember laughing that much during a movie. Some jokes really fell flat. Alan continues to befuddle people and pick on Stu (Ed Helms) and I don’t know what to think about his scene with Melissa McCarthy. But one funny aspect was them revisiting Las Vegas (where it all began!) and the movie started to pick up pace and humour.

STAY TILL THE END OF THE CREDITS FOR AN EXTRA SCENE!

THE MOTHER OF ALL TROUBLES

thebigweddingTHE BIG WEDDING (2013)
3 out of 5 stars

Alejandro (Ben Barnes) and Missy (Amanda Seyfried) are getting married and things are getting more complicated. Alejandro, the adopted son of Don and Ellie, has invited his birth mother from Colombia. Meanwhile, Don has been living Bebe after his divorce from Ellie. All hell breaks lose when Alejandro reveals that he kept the divorce a secret from his birth mother because he didn’t want her to think that he wasn’t brought up in a traditional family (think picket fences and happily married parents).

The story is quite simple and there isn’t much to talk about except that weddings are as complicated as the families involved. But Ben Barnes does speak some mean Mandarin! Wished there was more focus on the couple but instead their parents snatched their spotlight! Wow, their lives are much more exciting than the young couples…

DESTINY AT THE PINES

PBTPinesTHE PLACE BEYOND THE PINES (2012)
3 out of 5 stars

Luke (Ryan Gosling) is a motorcycle stunt rider who discovers he has a son with a lover from the past and tries to earn more to provide for them. He decides to rob banks with a partner but his decision will change his life forever.

Isn’t this such a coincidence? I mean, after People magazine named Bradley Cooper the Sexiest Man Alive in 2o11 much to the chagrin and fury of everyone (mine included) who adores Ryan Gosling – here they are in the same movie! The way this story plays out doesn’t do the title justice – spoiler: somebody dies!

While the ladies enjoy Gosling’s wonder physique covered in his not-so-aesthetic tattoos (some of the fonts were really weird), the guys can ogle Eva Mendes.

Ultimately, I think the show is about karma. You do a bad deed and you do nothing about it… it will come back and bite you. Since the movie takes place over a period of 15 years (or more), it is rather draggy and often I wonder when is the movie going to end. But I like the car chases where Ryan Gosling’s character tries to out-run the cops – full of adrenaline rush! Can’t say the same for the rest of the movie though.

Robin: If you ride like lightning, you’re going to crash like thunder.

THERE ARE SOME WARS YOU WALK AWAY FROM

brokencityBROKEN CITY (2013)
3 out of 5 stars

Billy Taggart (Mark Wahlberg) has been arrested for the murder of a street thug that raped and murdered his girlfriend’s sister. The Captain asks Mayor Nicholas Hostetler (Russell Crowe) for help and they eliminate the crucial evidence that frees Taggart. Seven years later, Taggart is now a private investigator and the Mayor uses this favour to find out the object of his wife’s affair.

Seriously, I wanted to watch the movie for Mark Wahlberg and Alona Tal. There was a bonus Justin Chambers but he’s too sleazy for my liking! Well, there’s a lot more to what’s going on with the Mayor and his wife and it is explained as the movie progresses. What’s not new is that politicians always play dirty and they always have a trick up their sleeve. Pity Mark Wahlberg whose character has to pick up other people’s pieces and solve the entire thing at the price of his life.

DON’T MESS WITH THE JOES

GIJoeR2G.I. JOE: RETALIATION (2013)
3 out of 5 stars

The Joes are back and they are after Cobra for killing their brothers and framing them for the theft of nuclear warheads. Roadblock (Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson), Lady Jaye (Adrienne Palicki) and Flint (D.J. Cotrona) are the only survivors and they seek help from former G.I. Joe, Joseph Colton (Bruce Willis).

OMG! Lee Byung Hun! Wow, look at his ripped body and katana skills! I feel so much Asian pride when I see him. To be in Hollywood at 42 years old! Can’t wait to see him in Red 2 this summer! Speaking of age, Bruce Willis is 58 and he still can kick ass. His house beats the house of Mr. and Mrs. Smith’s. The movie packs a lot of action and I love those scenes with Storm Shadow. Walton Goggins makes an appearance here but he still doesn’t have a happy ending. Oops.

YOU DON’T KNOW JACK

jtgsJACK THE GIANT SLAYER (2013)
3 out of 5 stars

Nicholas Hoult movies back-to-back in Singapore! Woots!

First I’ve got to admit that I lost count of the number of times I referred to this movie as “Jack and the Beanstalk”. This is an updated version of the fairy tale and it’s slightly more bloody and gruesome because they depict giants eating humans and their love for humans as pastry fillings.

What I liked about the movie was the mythology of how the human ancestors managed to control the giants and lived in peace until some power hungry fellow stole the beans and aims to be the ruler of the giants’ kingdom. Stanley Tucci is delightful as the villain and Ewan McGregor is just plain charming as the royal guard in his accent. Although the story is kind of predictable, you’ll still want to watch how Jack saves the day.

STAYING YOUNG IS GETTING OLD

Vamps2012VAMPS (2012)
3 out of 5 stars

Goody (Alicia Silverstone) and Stacy (Krysten Ritter) are vampires living in modern Manhattan. They abstain from human blood and are creatures of the night. Their lives become complicated when Stacy dates Joey van Helsing, whose family descends from a line of vampire hunters.

This is like a mini Clueless reunion with director Amy Heckerling and actors Alicia Silverstone and Wallace Shawn! Of course, the other draw of the movie is Dan Stevens! I heard a few gasps the moment his face lit up the screen.

It has plenty of witty dialogue, especially from Goody since she’s one of the oldest character in the film and she disses social media and other “advances” in technology. There’s also certain vampire myths that are tested here and some with hilarious results (re: mirrors). But for those expecting something like Clueless, you won’t find it here.

YOUR FUNNY YELLOW SHOES

10years10 YEARS (2012)
3 out of 5 stars

This film takes place at a high school reunion ten years after their graduation and revolves around this batch of students, some of which have evolved and some have not.

Reunions are such scary things – you want to go to find out how others are doing yet you are afraid of how people might view you. Are jerks still jerks? Are jokers still jokers? Are nerds still nerds?

There are a couple of stories interlocking here and the one that I liked most is the one with Reeves and Elise. Oh, I wished I was more like Elise – quiet but with an edge. I need to find that edge! I predicted that storyline from miles away and OMG that song – I was just waiting for “yellow shoes” to appear. The other interesting guy is Garrity, who brought his wife along, and reveals his hidden past. Wow that side is really unexpected but there are always surprises to be found.

The lead is Channing Tatum (biggest face on the poster) but his story was mildly interesting though it was nice to see him work with real-life wife, Jenna Dewan-Tatum. Plus, Scott Porter (Hart of Dixie) sings in this too!

GIRLS AND PEARL WHITE BENTLEYS

SoUndercoverSO UNDERCOVER (2012)
3 out of 5 stars

Miley Cyrus stars as a private investigator who goes undercover in a college sorority. Oh, college!

Well, such flicks are a welcomed change from all the Oscar-worthy movies now showing in cinemas. Not only is there Miley Cyrus, there are familiar faces from world of TV. Mike O’Malley (Burt Hummel, Glee), Matthew Settle (Rufus Humphrey, Gossip Girl) Joshua Bowman (Daniel Grayson, Revenge) are in the movie alongside Alexis Knapp, recently seen in Pitch Perfect.

I cannot remember much of the plot (oops) but I would say it depicts sorority life rather accurately because majority of them behave like bimbos and everyone has something to hide. That means everyone seems suspicious at first, but do your homework and you guys could solve this like Miley Cyrus.