THE BRIT AND THE ONE WITH SMALL HANDS

THIS MEANS WAR (2012)
 – 3 and a half out of 5 stars

This was seriously one of the funniest movie I’ve seen this year.

Sure, the premise was done many times before – two guys fighting over one lady. But when these two guys are spies and have the skill and equipment to outwit and outplay each other, it is good fun to watch.

The funniest scene would be when FDR (Chris Pine) tried to impress Lauren (Reese Witherspoon) with his knowledge of art and Tuck (Tom Hardy) feeds his fake information through his earpiece. It was really ROFL.

However, you’ll realize that in the end, FDR and Tuck are made for each other! The way they look at each other, the way they rely on each other during their missions – that is true bromance in action!

LIFE IS THE MOST SPECTACULAR SHOW ON EARTH

WATER FOR ELEPHANTS (2011)
– 3 and a half out of 5 stars 

Based on the novel by Sara Gruen, Robert Pattinson stars as Jacob Jankowski, an aspiring vet who drops out of Cornell after his parents died in a car accident. He stowaways on a train with the Benzini Brothers circus, owned by August Rosenbluth (Christoph Waltz). During one of the performances, Jacob is instantly captivated by the beautiful Marlena (Reese Witherspoon), August’s wife and star performer. Trouble starts to brew when Jacob and Marlena bond over Rosie the elephant, the circus’ new starring act, and develop feelings for each other under the watchful eyes of August.

My first reaction after the movie ended: WOW. I thought the beauty of the circus and its acts were captured perfectly. Reese Witherspoon looked so graceful and elegant on the horses and on Tai, the elephant. Circus families are very tightly-knit and it’s pretty clear that they share a strong rapport with one another. When someone is in trouble, everyone reacts to help him.

The real star of the show has to be Tai! OMG she’s so smart! She can be quite playful too, especially when she thinks no one’s looking.

 Christoph Waltz played another scary, angry man (brilliantly) and the strangling scene reminded me of Inglourious Basterds, where he was strangling someone else. Remember, SAY NO TO ANIMAL ABUSE! Robert Pattinson was quite believable as a vet, and I didn’t think of him as a sparkly vampire throughout the movie (maybe it was because he was covered in dirt most of the time), and he speaks Polish!

A really beautiful film – go watch it!

DANGEROUS GAMES

CRUEL INTENTIONS (1999)
– 3 and a half out of 5 stars

I finally saw Cruel Intentions after so long (it’s a 1999 film). I’ve always wanted to see it because I really liked Sarah Michelle Gellar when I was younger (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and what not’s).

It is set in modern NYC among the rich, young and famous students who are about to enter senior year. Enter Kathryn Merteuil (Gellar) and Sebastian Valmont (Ryan Phillippe) step-siblings who are as manipulative as one can get. Kathryn has been dumped by her beau, who has taken a liking for a more innocent transfer student, Cecile Caldwell (Selma Blair) – which she has taken under her wing – “keep your friends close, your enemies closer”, she says.

Her intention is to corrupt and destroy Cecile’s reputation as well as teach her ex-beau a lesson. She tries to engage the help of her womanizer of a step-brother but he has other plans. His latest conquest would be Annette Hargrove (Resse Witherspoon), the new headmaster’s daughter, who has openly declared that she would keep her virginity intact till she is in love. Kathryn thinks Sebastian does not stand a chance and makes a wager with him. If he wins, he gets her; if she wins, she gets his vintage Jaguar.

Problem is, Sebastian falls for Annette along the way and complicates the wager, which Kathryn carefully manipulates according to her advantage.

The words that popped into my mind within the first 15 minutes were “scheming” and “manipulative”. The step-siblings used others’ weaknesses against them and treats them like pawns in a game. In fact, Sarah Michelle Gellar plays Kathryn so well (in a bad way), I disliked her character. But it’s obvious that deep down Kathryn’s a loner. She knew she lost the wager the moment Sebastian fell for Annette (making her end of the wager seemingly worthless) because she knows it’s the one thing she wouldn’t have. Oh, guess what? Her ex-beau turned out to be hiding in a closet… I guess the real winner is Annette, who not only won Sebastian’s heart, trampled over Kathryn and drove away with the vintage Jaguar! Thank goodness Sebastian kept a diary.

GREEN JELLO RULES

MONSTERS VS. ALIENS (2009)
– 3 out of 5 stars

I saw Monsters vs Aliens! It’s really funny, especially B.O.B. the Blob who has no brain and literally makes no-brainer remarks!

B.O.B.: “Derek, You’re a selfish jerk, and guess what? I’ve met someone else. She’s limegreen, she has 14 little chunks of pineapple inside of her and she is everything I deserve in life! I’m happy now Derek, without you. It’s over!”

The President in the movie is a complete dumbass and is always trying to prove his “presidentiality”. Plus, there was this newsreader who made this very true-to-the-bone comment: “that aliens only ever seem to appear in America”. The other thing that made me happy was that a couple of The Office actors lent their voices to the characters! Oh, and STAY TILL THE (ALMOST) END!

‘TIS THE SEASON

FOUR CHRISTMASES (2008)
– 3 out of 5 stars

Brad and Kate try to escape family gatherings every Christmas but not this year. Bad weather cancels all flights and they’re forced to meet their divorced parents’ families when they’re caught red-handed. They realized they don’t know each other as well as they thought they did after three years and their family members are all on the weird side. One line that stands out: “You can’t spell families without ‘lies’.”